Helpful Hints

Learning from Sideways

• Miles comments on the way up to Santa Barbara County that he doesn't like the way that California winemakers "manipulate" their Chardonnays through the use of oak and maloactic fermentation. What he means by that is how California Chardonnays often become overly buttery through excessive time in oak barrels, a taste profile that many Americans love but many also dislike.


• Miles method of tasting is pretty much spot on. Start with getting a good look at the color, swirl to get the wine to open up, take a big, healthy sniff (although you don't have to try to jam your nose down the glass like Miles does) and then sip.


• File this under duh... don't chew gum while tasting like Jack if you're serious about your wine.


• "Tighter than a nun's asshole" is an acceptable way to describe a nicely balanced wine... when drinking with friends. Probably wise to use a different term if you're drinking with co-workers or your boss.


• We agree with Miles and Stephanie on Cabernet Franc. Never had a bottle of 100% Cab Franc that was anything beyond average.


• Just for fun, here's a list of the wines that Miles, Mya, Jack and Stephanie are shown drinking during their first double date: Fiddlehead Sauvignon Blanc, Whitcraft Pinot Noir, Sea Smoke Botella Pinot Noir, Kistler Pinot Noir, Dominique Laurent Pommard 1er Cru Les Charmots and Andrew Murray Syrah. That's right, they weren't lying when they said they loved Pinots.


• Miles monologue about the difficulty of growing Pinot Noir grapes is right on the money. Due to the grape's thin skin and the vine's susceptibility to a variety of issues, Pinot Noir needs just the right climate and very close supervision and care to grow.


• Mya's beautiful monologue about wine being a living, evolving entity is also correct. She's stretching the truth a bit when she says that it would taste different every day, but every wine will ultimately peak before it begins to decline.


• At Frass Canyon, Miles compares the crappy wine to the back of an L.A. schoolbus and Raid insect spray. He also comments to Jack that the winery probably didn't destem, hoping for concentration. A vast majority of winemakers remove the stems of the grapes before fermentation because the stems have far too much tannins and would produce really harsh, nasty wines. Miles is claiming that the winemakers left the stems in hoping to make up for the lack of quality in the grapes and the winemaking process.


• Oh, and frass is insect excrement - a little inside joke by the screenwriters.


• And, finally, if you have a bottle of 1961 Cheval Blanc (I found a bottle online for $2,600), we'd highly advise that you don't drink it out of a styrafoam cup with a greasy burger and onion rings.